Microdosing on Sobriety. 

Choose to see things a little differently.

The PAUSE.  

In This Naked Mind methodology, we don’t subscribe to the Day 1 thinking that drinking or quitting drinking is an all or nothing commitment. In fact, we don’t really believe in imposing rules at all.

The societal belief is that there are two types of people when it comes to alcohol. That people can drink as much as they want without any repercussions – these are the “good” drinkers, the ones that still function in society and aren’t homeless in a ditch somewhere. And then the alternative is the “drunk” – the person who can’t have just one, that has hit rock bottom, and continually chooses alcohol over a meaningful life.  

This belief system is engrained through other 12 step methods that fortify this idea that you are in control of your drinking until you aren’t. That once you “walk through the door” you can never go back. In my opinion, that is why there is so much fear and emphasis on the idea of counting days and tracking how long you have successfully used willpower and avoidance to overcome your lack of control when it comes to drinking. Everyone has heard the old adage – One day at a time.

And for some, that works, but for me – I wanted FREEDOM. 

Fortunately, with so much more knowledge and research about how alcohol affects our physiology and what it is actually doing in our bodies we are able to see that there is a little more to the story than we have all been taught.  

The truth is, alcohol is an addictive substance, and with repeated use over time any human being is susceptible to addiction. This is great news! It is not a matter of genetics or something that we are allergic to and therefore more likely to fall into the cycle of addiction. It means that we – human beings, made up of flesh, blood and bone – are all likely to develop addictive behaviours around alcohol if we continue to imbibe on this substance regularly.  

Perfect example of this is TOLERANCE.  

Our bodies build a tolerance to alcohol with repeated use. If you have read anything about addiction, it always talks about the need for increasingly more of the same substance to achieve the desired effect. We see this with food addictions, drug addiction, smoking – and drinking alcohol is absolutely NO DIFFERENT.  

Think about when you first started drinking compared to now. Do you drink the same amount of alcohol to get drunk as you did 5 years ago, 10 years ago, or even 20 or 30 years ago? Likely if you are a regular drinker, you can “handle” more. This is your body’s natural tolerance or immunity. Your body knows this toxic substance will be coming along and so with the first sip of alcohol for the day, comes a flood of hormones that work to bring you back to balance as quickly as possible (this is termed homeostasis, and is the natural regulation of the body through chemical processes). 

So, what do I teach that is so different?  

Well first, I don’t believe that quitting drinking starts with stopping.  

Ummmm. Pardon me, can you repeat that – I don’t think I heard you right….. You are telling me that in order to control alcohol, in order to make alcohol small and irrelevant, in order to be able to go back to the “take it or leave it” place I want to be in SOOO BAD, I DON’T have to QUIT?? 

That is exactly what I’m saying. Kind of.. 

In my experience, it’s not about quitting drinking the day you decide you need to make a change. It’s about inviting in curiousity around sobriety and what it could mean for you. The people I know that have made lasting transformational change around their relationship with alcohol aren’t touting sobriety, but are more focused on feeling differently about drinking, and that just means getting down to the truth of how alcohol really makes you feel.  

I’m sure if you are reading this you might be starting to question your relationship with alcohol. And if your anything like me, you just cannot identify with the word “alcoholic.”  

Does this sound familiar??

–> I keep setting rules for myself; like how many, or how often, or what kinds of alcohol are OK.  <–

See I too was working so hard thinking about all my rules, and I would be able to keep it up for a while, but eventually there would be a party or event and I would black out yet again and cause myself more pain and grief and I would be left saying, “What is wrong with me, why do I do that to myself, I should know better, I know I can’t say “no” – I know I don’t have an off switch!”  

Here’s the thing that I find helps more people in a meaningful way than repeated “day 1’s” and willpower. I like to think of it as micro dosing on sobriety, and it is all about coming to this decision with a bit more self-compassion and grace. I mean we didn’t start having issues with alcohol overnight. For some of us this unhealthy relationship took years or even decades to cultivate. So why on Earth would we think we can just quit in a day with no other changes to help integrate this new choice?!  


micro dosing

[ˈmīkrōˌdōsiNG]

NOUN

  1. the action or practice of taking or administering very small amounts of a drug in order to test or benefit from its physiological action while minimizing undesirable side effects

Micro dosing on sobriety is about getting curious and learning what is true for you by experimenting with drinking less in small manageable doses that don’t scare your brain into thinking you are never going to drink again! 

Sounds way more fun than beating yourself up and wondering why you are still stuck doesn’t it? 

In This Naked Mind methodology Annie has developed the PAUSE. The PAUSE is THE THING that helped her change her relationship with alcohol for good. The PAUSE is why this method is so different from anything that has been available until now. The PAUSE is taking some time to stop trying to quit and start learning what alcohol really does so you can make an educated decision on whether this is something you want to keep putting into your system or not. The PAUSE is when we start drinking mindfully and take the time to find out if drinking is something we enjoy, or if it’s just that our dopamine response has taken control telling us we “really like” this thing.  

When we drink mindfully, we are still drinking but we are drinking a little bit differently. We are taking time to bring awareness of how we really feel throughout the drinking experience. We observe and journal about what we are feeling in our bodies, how it is making us feel and if the things we think about drinking are really even true.  

Isn’t that what mindfulness is all about? Being fully present in the moment and using our 5 senses to discern what is really happening within us and in our environment.  

Something really interesting that I learned on my own journey, was how much an alcohol-free beer helped to curb my cravings for alcohol while I was pregnant. You might know this, but when I originally quit drinking it was because I found out I was pregnant, and what brought me to This Naked Mind was this overwhelming desire to drink even though I KNEW I didn’t want to harm my growing baby. Alcohol was consuming my thoughts and I felt absolutely miserable and deprived.  

That is, until I started to LEARN how to make alcohol small and irrelevant. When I learned how alcohol was controlling me, I knew it was time to reclaim my power and say FUCK YOU to booze. Now that I know how much better my life is, I couldn’t even imagine drinking like I used to. Now that I have made alcohol small and irrelevant, I am totally free. I feel absolutely comfortable with my choice in any situation and can be around alcohol and people drinking with no desire to pick up a drink. That is something I never would have thought possible. But that’s because I believed that alcohol was creating a BENEFIT in my life. And now it’s clear to me that it was just a lifetime of societal and familial conditioning that was making me think that.  

When I started to get clear on how it was REALLY making me feel and why I thought it was a benefit, I was able to start to unravel these beliefs and see where they came from. And you know what – they weren’t even my beliefs in the first place. 

Micro dosing on sobriety can look like choosing an alcohol-free option to bring to the party so you can begin to feel for yourself the difference of being in control or not. It could be taking a PAUSE and choosing to mindfully drink so you can begin to feel for yourself the effects of alcohol in your body. It can be starting to read up on people’s stories and connecting in online groups to see that you are not alone in this struggle. It can be starting to choose yourself first and figuring out how you want to show up in your life moving forward.  

Quitting drinking doesn’t need to be painful, and in my experience the most meaningful way to quit is to actually stop trying to quit and just educate yourself on how alcohol is really showing up for you. Unfortunately, what every person I know on this journey figures out, is that alcohol is not the great friend you might think, but actually a devious and insidious addictive poison that hijacks our dopamine response to make us believe we enjoy it.  

Micro dosing on sobriety might just be the next step to find everlasting freedom and learn how make that choice for yourself, and then stand in that truth.  

No rules, no restrictions, just awareness and learning. Doesn’t that sound like something you can do for yourself?

As always, here for you with so much love,
Danielle

Happy Dependence Day!

Is alcohol stealing your time, energy, thought-space, FREEDOM?

The big business of alcohol runs on two primary ingredients:   

Dependence and fear.   

The extent to which these are present in your life determines how much control that alcohol can exert upon you. 

Dependence is created through the natural hormone cocktail that gets released every time you take a drink. The emotional satisfaction you get when you go to pour yourself a drink after a long day triggers a response that immediately releases a rush of dopamine to signal that this is a pleasant behaviour and you should repeat it.  

Only, that artificially high rush of euphoria only lasts about 20 minutes before homeostasis kicks in and works to quickly return your hormone levels to balance. Unfortunately, simultaneously the stimulant effect of alcohol is maxed out and replaced by the depressant action of hormones like cortisol (AKA the STRESS hormone), and that depressive state takes 3-4 hours to clear your system.  

This is what happens with EVERY drink you consume.  

This is also why your blood alcohol level can register at zero, but you still feel like garbage; that is the compounding depressant affects that are still working their way through your system.  

And this is a simplified explanation of how we build dependence on alcohol, some people like to refer to it as tolerance, but I see it for what it really is, and it is creating a need for you to continue to drink more to feel the same effects.  

Over time this can be devastating.  

On the other hand, we have FEAR, the other driver in the conversation around alcohol. Now this shows up in many forms but most commonly manifests as a fear of missing out, fear I won’t be able to relax, fear I can’t be social, fear I will be judged, ostracized, and rejected by my friends, family, and colleagues, and maybe most dangerous, the fear that I can’t cope without it..  
 
In the absence of these two things, the desire to drink will dissolve and amazingly cease to exist.  

 
Dependence and fear are generated. Neither is your natural state of being. 
 
Dependence is not determined by circumstance; it is created by a state of mind. 
 
Fear is a vibration we generate in response to our perception of the world. If you can learn to choose your response, you can write fear out of the script for your life. 
 
The real work is to come to a place deep in your core where you can actually feel that YOU ARE ENOUGH…NOW
 
Many will laugh at such a vague and “impractical” goal. They will chuckle at how silly, woo-woo and weak such an action is in the face of entities like dependence and fear. 
 
This skepticism is the response of those with conditioning so deep that their minds have been severed from a connection with their internal truth. In that situation, the mind weaves stories about reality that fortify the self-made prison of that individual. This is how the alcohol creates consumer-slaves who believe they are free. 
 
These are beings who are so asleep, so traumatized, so energetically scattered, that they are not able to see or feel the connection between their practical life and its source: the invisible inner being that they all have within them. 
 
Freedom is easy to celebrate. It’s far more challenging to live. 
 
LIVING freedom triggers virtually every emotional response installed by a lifetime of conditioning designed to keep humanity asking no questions by creating the illusion of safety in their little conceptual cages. 
 
But my question to you is, are you here to live ALIVE in the fullness of what this magnificent world has to offer?  

OR.. 

  • Did you come here to be told how to live? 
  • Did you arrive on this plane so your life force could be manipulated for the gain of others? 
  • Are you alive right now simply so you can serve as a meaningless cog in the machinations of the rigged system and its focus on death, disease, and destruction? 

 
If you say FUCK NO, then what does it look like for you to declare the only independence over which you have any control: your own
 
Is that what you’re doing? 
 
Or are you waiting? Are you looking around to see who goes first? Are you checking to make sure the way is “safe?” Are you searching for clues that it is OK to be yourself, to show the world the real you, to claim the path for which you were made? 
 
You are either free or you are not free. 
 
There is no such thing as “half free” (….that’s the illusion of moderation). 
 
Should you summon the courage, focus and fortitude to act upon that which is in your heart, you will receive a taste of freedom that will ruin you forever from accepting anything less. 
 
The difference between free and slave does not require a war in the times that are upon us. 
 
It simply requires a choice. 
 

Are you ready to make that choice and live in your fullest capacity, creating the world of your dreams? 

Or are you willing to let a few more years pass, waiting for things to get worse than they already are.  

There is no better time to reconsider your relationship with alcohol.  

The entrance to the road to freedom is disguised by dependance and fear, remove those obstacles by connecting to your heart’s consciousness, your inner truth, your divine light, your inner being – whatever you want to call it.  

Start the process of connecting to YOU, and you will be well on your way to creating freedom in your life.  

YOGA not “yoga”

Are you aching for more joy in your life? More peace and happiness? More bliss?  

Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in a hamster wheel, doing all the things for all the people and then leaving myself feeling drained, stretched and a mixture of sadness and anger at the same time.  

It’s so hard to balance everything and still make time for myself.  

Even with all the time I take it just never feels like it’s enough.  

I just feel like something is lost.


Do you look around your life and think there should be more. More to it, less to it, just something other than what it is? 

Stop searching and start LIVING.

Every time I go through a transformational shift in my life I am connected to my mat. And looking back at my completely inconsistent journey with yoga, I can’t say I was ever really a “practicing yogi”.  

The thing is yoga doesn’t have to start on the mat, it doesn’t have to be a workout activity or athletic thing at all. I think there is a very common misconception about what yoga is and what it isn’t in the Western world and that’s why I am realizing – literally right now as I’m writing this – that I should probably explain what I mean when I talk about incorporating yoga on your alcohol-free journey.  

It’s actually not about incorporating “yoga” at all.  

For me it was the combination of mindfulness and small incremental shifts in my thinking that allowed me to change my opinions and behaviours around alcohol.  

It wasn’t until after I was already spontaneously sober and feeling SO MUCH BETTER about my life that I really started thinking about how I wanted my relationship with alcohol to look going forward. And honestly, I couldn’t have known that’s what was happening back then. But now as I look at the pivotal pieces of my journey it’s become clear to me that I was looking for a way out from my addiction.  

And along the way while I was struggling the most, I was continuously brought back to my yoga mat.  

That reminds me of the story about the very first time I ever did yoga. I was sitting in my apartment, feeling absolutely hopeless, this was right before I was about to sign myself in to the psyche ward at the hospital because I was threatening myself with suicide. I remember holding the pill bottle in my hand bawling my eyes out and wanting so badly to have the courage to kill myself but just having this overwhelming urge that I wasn’t ready to die yet. I called my best friend with a hand full of quetiapine I had taken from my mom; seeing how much it knocked her on her ass when she took too many, I thought this was a good way to do it.  

He saved me from myself.  

He left work and came to get me, and we drove to the hospital where I checked myself in and signed away my decision-making privileges for a minimum 72 hours. I was there for 13 days. It was the first time I had spent 13 days sober in years. When I got out, I was back in my apartment, and although I had gotten a much-needed break and good night’s sleep for the first time in way too long – pretty much all I did was sleep and colour, I don’t remember really even leaving my room – I didn’t realize it yet, but I just needed some time to be alone.  

So, I remember sitting there trying to think about what to do with myself, I wasn’t supposed to be drinking and I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I had an urge to look up yoga and didn’t even really know why. I had never done yoga; I have never been very athletic, and I didn’t really know if there would be anything like that in my hometown (this was like 2015). But google showed me the way and I found Jade Wellness, a yoga studio that happened to have a candlelight yin yoga class and it was happening in an hour! I got ready and left for this class with no idea what yin yoga even was but that whatever it was I could figure it out. 

That class changed me forever. I cried the whole time. Sobbed quietly on my mat in these deep, grounding and delicious poses feeling held and supported by the dim lighting in the room and the warmth of the candlelight. The instructors soft voice guiding me through the motions and me feeling into my own body for the first time that I can remember.  

I didn’t know what I was doing but felt more connected and supported in that space then probably ever in my life.  

That is the type of experience I want to create. A safe container for you to get in touch with your body, to connect to your inner desire, to feel your hearts consciousness – possibly for the first time.  

You don’t need skills or flexibility to do my version of yoga. You need a heart and a desire for a more fulfilled life.  

I don’t care about fancy yoga clothes or if you’ve read the Bhagavad Gita.  

All I ask is that you bring a boatload of compassion for yourself and a willingness to commit to the journey.  

And the beautiful thing I want to offer here is that even if you don’t feel like you have the compassion thing nailed just yet, you can borrow my undoubting belief in you while we work to build some of that trust back in yourself.  

You can do this. Whatever it is that’s in your heart. That is actually exactly what you are here to do and no one else can do it but you. If you let your dreams die at the bottom of a bottle no one will care. No one will stop you. No one will change you. But if you are thinking, what the fuck, there MUST be more to life than this.. Be assured, there is.  

You have something absolutely life changing and brilliant inside of you.  

Your life has given you a PhD in exactly what you need in order to bring your subtle gifts to the world.  

But you aren’t going to be able to connect with that part of you as long as you are numbing your senses and wasting your energy.  

It’s time to reclaim your power. Reclaim your life. Reclaim your purpose and move forward with intention. Don’t be a victim of your life, be the creator of it.  

It is my honest belief that yoga saved my life.  

At a time of intense struggle, it called to me and pointed me forward again.  

And so, if you are being called towards something but you don’t know what. You might be in the right place. Really only you will know the answer to that.  

One thing I can guarantee, is that you will never be the same.  


Are you willing to put down the shame and regret long enough to look inside and ask what is truly possible for you? 

Because I bet you have done some pretty marvelous things in your lifetime. Things you thought were hard but became easy. Things that you are truly proud of.  

This all starts with you believing in yourself long enough to commit, and then when things get a little tough, leaning on me for support and accountability.  

Do you want to start building your life with intention? 

Time will pass either way. 

The path of yoga is now, there is an opportunity for you to connect with your hearts consciousness and begin the melting process of becoming the very best version of yourself.  

You too can be rooted ruby. You too can have a life of freedom from alcohol and the power to choose who you are.  

If you are curious to know more about whether this life is for you, take a baby step forward and join me here.  

Have any questions? Contact me here

This could be the year you change your life forever. The year you get on the right track and take off in the direction of your CHOOSING. But it could also be another year of doing more of the same.

Let me know what you want to do. But know, we are getting started together on Friday July 1 and I be honoured to have you there.

Onward and upward (with so much love), 
Danielle xx

ps. Think you want to wait until things get a little worse, please do check back in when you’re ready. The thing is, your relationship with alcohol WILL continue down a one-way road. There is no going back. There is no getting better. There is only one direction alcohol can take you and it’s not a place I would recommend.  

Still living in the cycle of headaches and hangovers?!

If you could seriously UP-level your life right now, would you?

The secret solution EVERYONE should know!

What if I told you there was actually a super simple solution and it would save you tons of money, deepen your relationships, help you find peace, joy and happiness…

What if it’s something that you definitely might resist believing but is absolutely the truth…

Still interested??

What I’m going to say is seriously the best kept secret around!

I wouldn’t have even known about it if I hadn’t stumbled on it through serendipity when I found myself pregnant, miserable and feeling deprived.

Why was I feeling these things?

I mean – I had just found out I was on the miraculous journey of bringing LIFE into the world.
…And yet I was absolutely miserable… just because I couldn’t have a drink!

Seriously…

If the miracle of life isn’t something to bring a person joy over alcohol then I think it’s safe to say the relationship might be worth reconsidering.

You see, alcohol is actually the thief of joy. But it doesn’t stop there..

It steals your time, your money, your relationships and sometimes even more. It’s known to steal houses and marriages and lives of all ages. Alcohol is the one thing we willingly let steal from us.

Sometimes even on a daily basis.

And that was just not working for me anymore. I’m sorry to rock the boat, but I think it’s actually complete and utter bullshit.

And that’s exactly what brings me here. Shouting out to you beautiful human.. because you don’t need to let alcohol control your life any longer!!

But you also don’t have to live your life feeling miserable and deprived about it.

I know it seems super scary to think about all the things in life you couldn’t possibly enjoy without booze. I know it’s uncomfortable to think about all the things you won’t enjoy if you “can’t” ever have a drink again… and that’s exactly what keeps SO MANY people STUCK in the cycle. The beliefs we carry about alcohol are what keep us making excuses for our weekly hangovers and thinking its okay because “everyone is doing it”.

But what if the truth is, when you know what I know, you won’t even WANT to drink alcohol anymore! It won’t be this elusive thing you are missing out on, it will be so small and irrelevant you won’t even notice it’s there.

Seriously.

The best up-level I think any one has discovered (THANKYOU ANNIE GRACE!) is making the conscious choice to leave alcohol in the rear view mirror!

This is what I am talking about when I say FREEDOM from alcohol. Take my word for it, you can enjoy every social experience the EXACT SAME – and even more – because you will actually BE PRESENT THE WHOLE TIME and will undoubtedly have less to regret in the morning…

Still skeptical?

What if I could invite you join me in July and break up with booze. Just for 30 days. Just to see how you feel. No long term commitments required. No need to explain anything to anyone. No need to put yourself in a box as a “problem drinker”. Just a casual experiment to see how you really feel. A break to take some space for yourself and decide what’s really best for you.

You might be saying, ya but it’s July.. I can’t go booze free in JULY!!! It’s summer, it’s patio season, it’s Canada day and the 4th of July!!!

I know, I know… but the thing is, in our booze soaked consumer society we have married alcohol with social engagement and fun.

I mean, think about the year.. is there ever a “good” time to go booze free? We are all so entrenched in our drinking culture that we have made a boozy reason for literally every occasion. Every holiday, every weekend, every occasion, every non occasion. You see, that’s part of the façade.. we are so culturally conditioned to believe that we NEED to drink that we never take the time to consider if we really even WANT to drink.

I mean seriously, do you really love drinking? Or do you love the IDEA of drinking??

When was the last time you went out drinking and successfully drank exactly how much you wanted to and felt great about it the next day?

For me, I was making such bad decisions when I drank and I was so accustomed to drinking every single day, that I was making bad decisions every freakin’ day!!!

Eventually that shit adds up – and not in a good way!

Going alcohol free was hands down the BEST DECISION I EVER MADE and a total upgrade to my life.

If you think you might be interested in giving yourself a little break from booze this July, join me, and I can promise you won’t regret it. You can do it, and you don’t need to do it alone. I have a ton of great resources to help you not only break up with booze, but ENJOY doing it!

I am pretty excited about what’s coming in July and will be sharing more about it over the next week so make sure you join me over on FB at Rooted Ruby Wellness. Its a fabulous place where you can learn more about different ways to get unstuck and start to live in the peace, joy and love that you deserve.

It’s time to UP-level your life.

Much love,
Danielle xx

Ps. Want to believe me but still feel a bit skeptical? You don’t have to just take my word for it, go and check out Annie Graces book This Naked Life: 48 true stories of people finding freedom from alcohol.

Boundaries are a Beautiful Thing. 

How often do you catch yourself wanting to say no but then when you open your mouth it comes out more like, “Let me just check my schedule.”  

Or maybe it’s more like, I am not drinking tonight, I have a big thing in the morning – in your head… but then when someone asks if you want to stay for a drink it comes out like, “Ya I guess one won’t hurt!” 

Sorry to say but that nagging feeling in your gut that wishes you would say NO and mean it, is your inner self, your true alignment and it is making you feel badly because you are not following your inner guidance. When you decide to go against your intuition it often feels like guilt. But trust me when I say that setting boundaries is a skill and just needs to be practiced like any other skill. You will feel better when you can say no and mean it. And your heart and mind will feel better knowing they are all in agreement.  

Why set boundaries? 

Because when you say yes to something or someone out of guilt you end up holding more negative emotion about it along the way. You feel resentment, and maybe even angry at the person for even asking. Like they should just KNOW how busy you are.  

Or in the instance of drinking. You want to slow down, you have set rules for yourself but then you end up letting anyone talk you into having a drink knowing full well you won’t have “just one” and your day tomorrow will probably get messed up.  

But who cares right? It’s just one day… it’s not that bad.  

Except one day somehow turns into years and all of a sudden you are looking at the repeated lack of boundaries, and that you really have no idea what you actually want or what feels good.

The thing is, we are a “yes man” society and many of us are caught in the loop of not wanting to feel bad about saying no, so we do the thing we don’t really want to or don’t really have time for anyways. Because we can “make it work”…

Well one of the things I am learning is how to set boundaries. And how much BETTER I FEEL when I just sit in the discomfort of the moment and say firmly “NO THANK YOU”. 

No, I’m sorry I can’t make time for that thing this week, but I would love to help you out in the future.  

No, I won’t just go for one because I have a big thing tomorrow and it is important I am at my best.  

Did you know that GROWTH is on the other side of discomfort? 

So, in that moment of discomfort of setting a boundary that will make your life better just remember you are growing! And that is a GOOD THING.  

Stop saying yes at your own expense.  

Learn how to say yes because you WANT TO! 

Still worried about how to actually make that work in your own life? 

Here are 5 tips to help you through the NO and get you moving in alignment with your true self.  

  1. Make it a complete non-issue. Do this by not wavering or over-explaining yourself. You don’t need to offer excuses or explanations for why you won’t or don’t want to do something.  

No is a complete sentence. 

  1. Be confident and stand proudly behind your choices and your priorities. 

Knowing that you are being true to what you want and who you are. 

  1. Say NO by saying yes to something else.  

Saying no to alcohol can sound like – “Yes, I’d love a lemonade to drink.” Turning down a dessert can come out as “A coffee would really hit the spot!” And turning down a commitment of time can come out as – “Could I make a donation?” or “I’d love to share some contacts with you that might be able to help!” 

  1. Don’t dwell on it.  

“I really appreciate you thinking of me, but no thank you.” Direct the conversation away from you by asking about the person, the cause, or anything that reframes the conversation. You can ask more and be genuinely interested without feeling the need to break your boundaries. 

  1. Be gentle while learning to set boundaries. This can sound like – “Let me think about it and get back to you.” or “No, but I would love you to keep me in mind if you need help in the future.” 

Being gentle is with people around you as well as yourself. If you falter on your boundary setting just bring awareness to how it makes you feel and make it a priority to be more clear in your communication moving forward.  

Remember that boundary setting is a learned skill and that in practicing this skill you may experience guilt or even push back from the other parties involved. Especially if they are used to being able to pressure you in a certain direction. But what comes with boundary setting is a profound connection to your inner wants and desires. It is a window into who you are and what is important to you. 

We only have one precious life to live and saying no to things you don’t want to do allows you to say yes to yourself and make room for the things you really DO want to do.  

It’s not always a lack of time that leaves us feeling out of sorts, but our inability to say “No thank you” when we honestly don’t have time or just plain don’t want to.  

It’s time to let your NO be heard.  

Now all that being said, I do want to quickly mention that setting boundaries in this way is more about finding your yes by allowing for your no to come through. I in no way want to encourage you to put up a perimeter around your being that discourages human connection. But being present with yourself and your internal wants and desires is going to lead you down a path to consciously choosing how you want to spend your time rather than being at the mercy of other peoples needs.

I hope this post is useful to you on your journey and please comment your thoughts or how you have reclaimed your power to thoughtfully and compassionately say no within your life.

Much love,
Danielle

The Secret Power of SOBER.

I know what you’re thinking.

There is no “power” in being sober.. all the people that I know that are sober are weak. The people that I know that are sober, are sober because they HAVE to be. Because they couldn’t “handle their booze” and hit rock bottom…

Like Todd, my friend that lost his license because he rolled his truck in a field after joyriding one night and then a week later got laid off from his job because he needs his license to get around in the site truck. He is now in a company mandated program to try and redeem himself and potentially get his job back.

Or my other friend Lucy, who cheated on her husband drunk out of her mind at a work conference and is now sober because she doesn’t want to lose her 20 year marriage, and have to fight for her house or her 3 children. She promised her husband she would NEVER DRINK AGAIN.

But the sad part about watching my friends struggle with these situations is that they are trying so HARD. They feel like they HAVE to be sober. They are using willpower.. and eventually my friends, willpower runs out.

Don’t get sober because you “have” to.

Don’t wait for rock bottom before you decide to make changes in your life.

It’s so unfortunate that in our culture today something BAD has to happen before we decide to choose something better for ourselves.

No one thinks that sober is sexy.

When you hear sober, I bet you don’t think about someone being powerful.

But what if the truth was that getting “sober” is actually the process of reclaiming your power over alcohol?

When you use This Naked Mind methodology to find freedom from alcohol, it is a VERY different process then the traditional 12 step approach. Instead of being labelled as powerless to alcohol and defined by your addiction, we instead work to elevate your thinking above and beyond your current state and rethink what alcohol really means in your life. This is a very individualized approach; based specifically on you, your desires, and your personal beliefs about who you are (and who you WANT TO BE) in the world.

I choose not to identify as “in recovery” or “sober”. In fact, I think those are derogatory terms that don’t help empower the new version of you. The person who is strong and resilient and has overcome many of life’s challenges!

If you are tired of feeling trapped by alcohol?

What if you took a second to imagine a life with MORE TIME, MORE MONEY, MORE FREEDOM, and a boatload of MORE HAPPINESS.

Does that sound good to you? Because, I am here to tell you that is EXACTLY what an alcohol free life looks like.

Can you relate to going out for one and then ending up spending way more than you wanted to?

….unfortunately the cost of alcohol isn’t the only COST of alcohol.

Have you ever wasted full days being hungover, miserable, spending money on crappy food just to try and feel like a real person again?

I know I have spent too many days just like that.

What if we could change the trajectory of your future by getting curious about what your life could look like by drinking less?

Would you be interested in giving yourself the best future you could dream of?

I want to assure you that getting a handle on your alcohol will not make you weak or an “alcoholic”. 1 – because I don’t believe in that word, and 2 – because taking control in your live is actually the most POWERFUL energetic stance you can take. I don’t know about you but after the crap we have all been through for the last 2 years I would gladly welcome some control back into my life!

The view of alcohol is shifting. Will you be a master of your life and get on the right track? Or will you be someone who waits until it gets a bunch worse before you turn around?

I don’t want you to feel like you have to wait for rock bottom or something terrible to happen before you take control of who you are and where you want your life to lead you.

All it takes is a little curiosity.

Are you willing to get curious about the secret POWER of living an alcohol free life?

I encourage you to do one thing for me this week. Take a look around when people are drinking and see if you notice them having more or less control over who they are and how they show up in the world. You don’t need to change anything, just get curious, and let me know what you notice by emailing me at danielle@rootedruby.com, or find me on Facebook and shoot me a message there, I love hearing from you.

All my love,
Danielle xx

THIS NAKED MIND

A new path to controlling alcohol has been forged.

Do you ever wonder when alcohol became something that was less about having fun and more about not being able to cope without it?

Do you think to yourself that you USED to be able to take it or leave it but now, more and more, you can’t go a day or two without having a drink?

Are you someone that can’t imagine going to an event or spending time with family without having a glass of wine or a few beers?

Trust me, it’s pretty much “normal” at this point. With the state of society, alcohol has become the most widely accepted and culturally pushed drugs on the market.

But I would like to welcome you to the new age of changing your relationship with alcohol! And I have to say, I am so happy you found us.

Here we do things a little differently than you might be familiar with. Actually to be honest, we do things A LOT differently. But I personally think it was about time that we came up with a better way to beat booze than hide in a church basement and render yourself helpless and anonymous for the rest of your life. I for one could NEVER identify with being helpless, hopeless or not in control… even if that was the truth.

So you can go ahead and thank the universe for ANNIE GRACE. Not only did she come up with a revolutionary way to rid herself of the intense wanting of alcohol (kind of by accident) but she decided to stand up with grace and courage and share that knowledge with the world.

And luckily we are in the magical time of the internet where we can share our thoughts and ideas worldwide and find a united community of people that needed something new, a new way to change. Just by reading her words people were able to completely rid themselves of the emotional tie with alcohol.

And so THIS NAKED MIND was born.

In the beginning it was just a pdf of Annie’s journals. Her path to how she overcame her desires to drink and how she learned how to control drinking in her own life.

A mother of 2 young children and the youngest VP of Marketing for a global company, she was starting to notice an increase in her drinking and feeling the effects of it in her life. And NOT in a good way. She wanted to cut back and started by making rules.. and then breaking them.

Sound familiar at all?

Once she fought and fought and couldn’t find reprieve she decided she would just QUIT TRYING TO QUIT, and take the next little while to get curious about how she went from a very casual drinker that didn’t even really enjoy drinking to someone who had a constant supply of boxed wine in the cupboard so that she didn’t have to see how many bottles she was actually going through.

I mean, geeze, I can relate to that. Going from a glass of wine a night habit.. to a bottle.. and then two bottles… it really starts to take a toll on your self worth.

So once she realized how powerful this way new way to change was for people all around the globe, she decided to leave her executive position and put her full time effort towards helping others find freedom from alcohol. She knew she had to develop this new way to change. She was called to serve and answered that call by sacrificing a great career for a dream she could feel would be so worth it.

It was only in 2018 that her book This Naked Mind, Control Alcohol was published. But it has proven to be HUGELY successful and now millions worldwide have found freedom from alcohol using This Naked Mind Methodology.

Realizing how much bigger this was than what she could do on her own, she opened her heart to share what she had learned with others. And then in 2019 the coaching program was created so that they could further the mission of helping the world find freedom from its toxic relationship with alcohol.

I was accepted into the 3rd running program of TMNI Coach Certification, with the first being an intimate live training session and now 2 full classes of coaches being trained during a rigorous 6 month certification process.

During this transformational program, where we all learned how to help others with their desires to change their behaviour with alcohol, we also had to overcome our own personal limiting beliefs about alcohol and ourselves as entrepreneurs, in order to be able to serve this methodology to the world in the most compassionate and heart centered way. I am beyond changed by finding this tribe of likeminded people and am encouraged and hopeful of what we are creating in the world.

So to explain, This Naked Mind Methodology is where you can learn how to control alcohol, find happiness, and change your life by finding the freedom to be exactly who you are meant to be, unencumbered by any state altering substance – specifically alcohol.

This Naked Mind, Control Alcohol is a powerhouse book that is taking the world by storm and creating a space for people who want to leave behind the destructive behaviours attached with over indulgence of alcohol and create lasting changes in their life. This path will not only open your mind to new possibilities but will transform your heart and bring forward a version of yourself that is bold, empowered, and PROUD TO BE AF.

There are many great programs being developed by all sorts of TNMI coaches in this new realm of “recovery”. And the best part is that we are all family. We are a collective of humans that see a better future and stand up for what we believe in.

I think this is such a unique opportunity that is just at the beginning of a huge breakthrough in collective consciousness and the desire to live happy and more fulfilling lives here on Earth. In my opinion, this is one of the greatest times in history to be alive and I know that the beauty of human life will overcome the darkness that has been shadowing our choices for way to long.

So I invite you, if any of this resonates and you are curious about what exactly TNM could open up in your life then please reach out and email me directly at danielle@rootedruby.com.

A world of possibilities opens up when you begin to say no.

All my love and deepest gratitude,

Danielle xx

Let’s put booze in the backseat.

Dear Restauranteurs,

PLEASE, please, please, UP your NAB GAME!

One of the most common complaints that I hear from people who have gone alcohol free is the LACK OF OPTIONS IN RESTAURANTS!

Let me spell it out for you restaurant owners –> PEOPLE WANT NAB OPTIONS!

People WILL PAY for something they want.

I was out for dinner the other night with my little fam jam and we decided to try out an upscale independent that I had been wanting to try for a while.

Now I am a huge food and beverage lover and have not had many opportunities to dine out with this whole pandemic thing and a new baby. So to say I was excited to dine out is a bit of an understatement!!

Now, I am the type of person that usually has a pre meal beverage (martini or delightful cocktail anybody?!) with my appetizer and a glass (or who am I kidding, more likely a bottle!!) of wine with dinner. I typically like to order a coffee with some sort of add in (espresso and sambuca was my GO TO) and then if there is time and the conversation is good I love a good stiff digestif (A Sazerac, or a 20 year tawny perhaps?) to round out the meal.

And that is a basic meal! … that is not even an indulgent meal.

Ok maybe not basic but definitely not indulgent either.

Like I said, I REALLY LOVE food and beverage!

So we enter into this fine establishment with an entire wall of wine along one side and a beautifully stocked bar, and I am SO EXCITED! I really haven’t had the chance to eat out like this since 2019.

That is an excruciatingly LONG time when I typically spend 10-12 hours a DAY in a restaurant and have my choice of delicious menu items cooked up for me at a moments notice. –Ahh the manager life.

So the server comes to take our drink order and I ask what she has available for Non Alcoholic Beer……

I will give you 3 guesses as to what her response was.

🙁

Nothing. Nada. Not one thing.

Sadness..

The only thing they had to offer me in replacement to an adult beverage was a virgin Caesar. Or pop.

Are you kidding me?

In the age of delicious NA beverage options popping up everywhere there was nothing to offer?

I didn’t feel like a Caesar so I kindly declined and sat begrudgingly with my water. I don’t really drink much pop and was a little bitter for that moment that I don’t drink alcohol.

I actually contemplated having an alcoholic beverage even though I have zero desire to put poison into my body!

Wow the power of social influence!

However, I did not. I looked over the cocktail menu and got her to throw me together a mixture of ingredients and she came back with a pretty good lavender lemonade.

But no garnish, no fancy glass, no love.

Although my thirst was moderately quenched, my desire for a beverage that matched my dining experience was not.

This got me thinking.

I wonder if other people are annoyed by this same experience.

I asked my Dad a few days later and he told me a story about going to a restaurant and asking for a “near beer”.

“A WHAAT??!” retorted the server.

And so he proceeded to tell me a story about an underwhelming service experience because he was a NON drinker.. the restaurant did not have any alcohol free options and was a little rude about the request of one.

So I brought the same question to my TMNI coaching family. We are all coaching in the realm of alcohol and none of us drink.

SAME THING.

An abundance of people reporting similar dining experiences about the LACK of NAB options.

This has got me thinking. Would you be more likely to drink less if there were better options available that were alcohol free?

And since I am on a mission to help people make alcohol small and irrelevant in their lives, I have decided to write to the industry, in hopes that we can shift the thinking around why it is equally as important to offer quality NAB options as it is to have a well stocked bar.

Adults who choose not to drink (for whatever reason) do not want to be reduced to the kids table. Sometimes I feel like you might as well offer me some chocolate milk.

Adults want an ADULT beverage without alcohol.

Tell me, if you couldn’t drink alcohol tomorrow because the doctor told you it was poison and it will kill you (which is 100% true btw), would you want an option that made you feel like you were still out for a nice meal and getting served to the highest level?

From my limited research that is EXACTLY what people want. They want the fancy glass, and the lovely garnish. They want options. They want to be questioned less about why they are not drinking and have an opportunity to cheers friends with a beautiful NA beverage.

There is a growing market of sober curious and AF people out there and it is time that you make your menu reflect those choices.

So darling restaurant owner that I love so much and appreciate so much for making it through the hell of a year (+) you have been through, over the government hoops you have had to endure…. can you please think about adding a few more NAB options to your menu?

Market to the NAB segment. Train your team on the importance of treating AF people with the same level of service they do to a table of drinkers. Get curious about the new and exciting products that are coming onto the market. And have fun with it.

The NAB market is about to EXPLODE.

Mark my words and get out ahead of it.

Everyone knows there are tons of alcoholic options in your establishment. But do people know you have NAB options to quench their wants and needs for a showstopper AF dining experience?

Please continue to offer the amazing high quality food and service that you already do. And thank you for being here doing what you do in times of great struggle.

Just know that the times are changing and your clientele is likely to start shifting their attitudes around alcohol. A friendly tip from me to you. You increase your NAB offerings and you increase your sales.

If you want more insights on the growing NAB industry check out my new page, “The Master of NON”, where we will dive deep into the growing NAB industry and how you can use it to your advantage in your business.

All my love,

Danielle xx

Welcoming, Radical Dan to the Stage!

radical
[ˈradək(ə)l]

ADJECTIVE
1.) (especially of change or action) relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something; far-reaching or thorough
“a radical overhaul of the existing regulatory framework”

synonyms:thoroughgoing · thorough · complete · total · entire · absolute · utter · [more]

2.) advocating or based on thorough or complete political or social change; representing or supporting an extreme or progressive section of a political party.
a radical activist”

synonyms:revolutionary · progressive · reforming · reformist · progressivist · revisionist · leftist · left-wing · socialist · anticapitalist · extremist · fanatical · militant · diehard

3.) characterized by independence of or departure from tradition; innovative or unorthodox.
“the daring, avant-garde spirit of the music was too radical for the conservative audience”

synonyms:unusual · irregular · unorthodox · unfamiliar · uncommon · uncustomary · unwonted · rare · out of the ordinary · atypical · singular · distinctive · individual · individualistic · free-spirited · alternative · different · new · fresh · novel · newfangled · innovative · groundbreaking · experimental · pioneering · original · unprecedented · unheard of · eccentric · idiosyncratic · maverick · quirky · odd · strange · bizarre · weird · outlandish · freakish · funny · quaint · queer · curious · abnormal · anomalous · aberrant · extraordinary · offbeat · off-center · esoteric · nonconformist · bohemian · outré · avant-garde · left-field

I know, LOTS OF WORDS…

Stay with me though. Radical to me is the adaptation of out of the box thinking.

Do you ever talk to people not in the industry and they think what people do in hospitality is COMPLETELY NUTS!

Let me break it down with a little story. So, my FAVOURITE part of service was always putting on events. I loved doing off site events and people always thought I was nuts because it is so much extra work! I used to get it all the time from my family and friends. How can you want to sign up to work for 16 hours for 3 days in a row? Why don’t you get more people to help? Why do you even offer off site events if they are so much work?

My answer.

Because I LOVE IT..

I love seeing the people hosting the event get to serve their family and friends or colleagues at the highest level and have everything behind the scenes taken care of by our team. I LOVE pulling a team together to work extra hard and see something literally be created from nothing just to have it be taken down again and the site left like nothing even happened.

One of my favourite examples of this was a housewarming that we did once for a very high-end client that wanted to host a pig roast in their back yard. But this was not your typical pig roast. This event had all the details of a fancy dinner-party in Vegas. We were outside, with lights, and tables and multiple pigs roasting in massive BBQ’s. There were multiple bars set up with fancy cocktails and champagne by the bucket load.

One of the best feelings in the world is doing something that other people say is impossible, or crazy.

But it is my firm belief that it is the radical thinkers of the world that say “Yeah, we can do that!” Before even seeing the event space or hearing the totality of the vision. If hospitality just stopped looking for new and innovative ways to bring the best elements of service to their customers we wouldn’t have molecular gastronomy or even great tasting Non alcoholic Bubble!

Hospitality is all about pushing the boundaries.

And I am through and through a hospitality diehard.

So my radical mission you ask?

To change the game!

Hospitality has been booze focused for too long. And I think that is sad for 2 reasons.

It not only discounts what amazing Chefs are creating and serving, by deadening our palettes and numbing our senses.

But it takes the social reality of the situation and numbs it as well. People are less connected, less interested and less engaged when they are drunk. Hospitality was designed to host travelers in a safe and social engagement to provide experience that would entice them to come back or recommend your service to others.

In my opinion many hospitality venues have lost sight of this mandate and are solely focused on happy hour, daily drink features and getting people to overindulge in alcohol so they spend more money. When did an industry that was built on the ideals of keeping travelers safe end up supersizing every drink portion on the menu?

But there is hope.

There are a growing number of business owners that are seeing the benefits of pivoting their booze heavy offerings to include options for the Sober Curious crowd that want to partake in less alcohol but still engage in social events and have options for an ADULT Beverage without the booze.

So here I am, a voice in the crowd to stand up for the radical and progressive decision to capitalize on Non Alcoholic Beverages in an industry that is booze soaked and to be honest a little judgmental of people choosing not to drink.

It’s time for a change, and I think radical thinking is the only thing that is going to save an industry that is forced to operate at half capacity because of ridiculous government mandates!

So welcome the new and improved thinking of Radical Dan to the party because together we are going to change the face of hospitality.

One non alcoholic beverage at a time!

You are going to hear a lot of radical thoughts coming your way this month as I step into my new identity of far out thinker and visionary. Keeping hospitality moving forward into the future, and doing what’s right for guests everywhere.

Want to know more about radical wellness and how to benefit from the concept of drinking less? Join my email list and you will get all the details right to your inbox with my weekly newsletter.

All my best in this crazy world,

Danielle xx

Finding you, the real you.

ROOTED RUBY
Root. Shine. Grow.

Freedom from alcohol without feeling deprived or miserable!

Living grounded, conscious, and kind.

Rooted Ruby was created to help people like you find freedom from alcohol through empowerment without ever feeling like you are missing out on fun and JOY in your life.

By finding ground and balance you are able to begin to let go of all the baggage you have never learned to put down.

When you can find peace from anxiety and stress you are naturally able to let your true essence shine through.

This is a journey of self discovery.

When you walk with me you will begin to look through different glasses and naturally begin to see the world from a whole new view.

And when you get comfortable with who you are, your authentic self, you can really begin to answer what you want out of this life.

Why are you here? What is your beautiful gift that you have to offer this world? What would it feel like to share that with the world?

This is not only a journey to freedom from alcohol and unwanted behaviour.

This is a journey to everlasting peace in your heart and resounding joy in your life. Because when you begin to live your true life’s purpose the Universe opens up to you and every desire of your heart is answered.

Growth is on the other side of discomfort. So, if you are in a state of discomfort, there is a huge growth opportunity ahead of you.

And the journey of growth is the easy part! All you have to do is keep taking each next step, keep showing up for yourself, and that’s where I come in as your personal guide along the way.

The hardest step is the very first one.

But I can’t help you through all the other steps if you keep putting off the brave and courageous FIRST STEP.

I know its hard. I know its SCARY.

But take my word for it.

IT IS SO WORTH IT.

I am a coach.

It is my job to push you out of your comfort zone so that you can learn things about yourself you never dreamed possible. And to make you the best you can be.  

I like to say that I am always looking for the best version of people.

When we are working together, we are focused on the future version of you. Because wherever you are right now is only temporary. It is already happening. The only logical thing in my mind is to focus on small success habits that will transform your life and bring you everywhere you ever wanted to go.

This journey is one of self discovery, empowerment, and belief change, and I can make a bold promise that you will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

But isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t that what life is all about?

Growing? Learning? Becoming?

That’s what it’s all about for me.

Reach out today. It’s a simple conversation to sort out where you are and where you want to go.

That’s it.

Not to painful sounding is it??

All my love,
Danner xx